People think that Intimacy is about Sex. But Intimacy is about TRUTH. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is “you are safe with me” – that is INTIMACY.
If Fear is the true enemy of Intimacy, then Love is the true Friend
Intimacy refers to the ability to genuinely share your true self with another person and relates to the experience of closeness and connection. We can be intimate with another intellectually – sharing our thoughts and ideas, emotionally sharing our innermost feelings, sexually sharing our desire, pleasure, passion and eros.
To experience healthy mature deep intimate connection with another is vitally important to our Life and for our growth as Human Beings.
Without this connection, our heart and soul dry up, and we can feel deeply lost, depressed, lonely, unmotivated, confused and without purpose.
This means to have a deep intimate relationship with yourself.
Only then can you let others fully see you for whom you are.
We have judged our vulnerability as something wrong, to be ashamed, to avoid.
What is the cause of fear of Intimacy?
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The FEARS of abandonment and engulfment
—and, ultimately, a fear of loss—is at the heart of the fear of intimacy for many people. And these two fears may often coexist. Although the fears are dramatically different from one another, both cause behaviors that alternately pull the partner in and then push them away again.
These fears are generally rooted in past childhood experiences, and triggered by the here-and-now of adult relationships. Often, we have experienced abandonment as a child and continue to carry deep within us the wound of that trauma.
Fear of Engulfment
Those who have a fear of engulfment are afraid of being controlled, dominated, or “losing themselves” in a relationship, and this sometimes stems from growing up in an enmeshed family.
People who are afraid of others’ judgment, evaluation, or rejection are naturally more likely to shy away from making intimate, personal connections. In addition, some specific phobias, such as the fear of touch, may occur as part of the fear of intimacy.
Risk factors for a fear of intimacy often stem back to childhood and the inability to securely trust parental figures, which leads to attachment issues. Experiences that may cause this include:
While enmeshed families may, on the surface, appear to be loving and supportive, boundaries and roles might be blurred and lead to issues with attachment, independence, and intimacy.
Parents who are physically but not emotionally available send the message to children that they (and by extension, others) can’t be relied on.
Loss of a parent
People who have lost a parent through death, divorce, or imprisonment may be left with feelings of abandonment and may have a harder time forming romantic attachments as adults. Research has found that a fear of abandonment is associated with mental health problems and later anxiety in romantic relationships.
Illness in a parent can result in a feeling of not being able to rely on anyone but oneself – especially when it involves role reversal or the need to “play parent” and care for other siblings at a young age.
Parental mental illness
Research suggests that parental mental illness, such as narcissistic personality disorder, can affect attachment formation in children, which may result in insecure attachment and poor coping strategies in adulthood.
Parental substance use
Substance use issues can make it difficult for parents to provide consistent care, which can interfere with the formation of attachments.
Physical or sexual abuse:
Abuse in childhood can make it difficult to form both emotional and sexual intimacy as an adult.
People who experienced neglect as children may find it difficult to trust and rely on others, including intimate partners, as adults.
Children who are emotionally abused may grow into adults who fear being ridiculed or verbally abused if they share anything with others, which can lead to an inability to share things and be vulnerable in relationships with other people.
“I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. After all the malevolent warriors end each other, the open-hearted will inherit the heart”
How do I usually express my difficulty ?
Difficulty Expressing Needs
A person with a fear of intimacy may have great difficulty expressing needs and wishes. Again, this may stem from feeling undeserving of another’s support.
Because partners are unable to “mind read,” those needs go unfulfilled, essentially confirming the person’s feelings that they are unworthy. This can translate into a vicious circle, one in which the lack of a partner understanding unexpressed needs leads to a further lack of trust in the relationship.
People who have a fear of intimacy may sabotage their relationship in many ways.
This may take the form of nitpicking and being very critical of a partner. It may also take the form of making themselves unlovable in some way, acting suspicious, and accusing a partner of something that hasn’t actually occurred.
Difficulties With Physical Contact
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TIME TO TRANSFORM NOW!
Do you crave authentic human connection?
Do you want to Enrich your life with healthy meaningful relationships?
Do you wish to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin?
Do you want to become aware of and honor your boundaries?
Are you longing to be met for who you are in love?
Do you have a sense of your innate power, but you feel blocked in fully living it?
Do you want to have fun in your relationships?
Do you want to learn how to trust?
Do you want to stop suffering from old patterns?
Do you want to break the loop of choosing the wrong partner?
“I have been hosting retreats since 2004.
While every retreat is a magical dive into the unknown, each one is always an amazing and nourishing experience. Together, we witness so much transformation.
It’s marvelous to me.”
CONSCIOUS INTIMACY RETREAT is a deep journey to unleash the full potential of your being, to create the life you are longing for, to be open to love as you deserve, to dream as you wish, to create and manifest as you are.
This retreat has been created to reconnect you with the pure sexual life energy in you that is, and always was, a source of creation.
Awakening to the heart of Eros, the life force creation – innocent and wild.
You will learn to celebrate this energy and love your body.
You will become aware of many things about your intimate life on different levels (mental, emotional, physical), but mostly this retreat will feel like remembering what you have long forgotten.
Because the relationship with your body is an absolute key for a fulfilled sexuality, this Conscious Intimacy Retreat will lead through body re-connection & awareness exercises, as well as body healing processes to change:
Body-denial to ACCEPTANCE
Rejection and resentment to CELEBRATION
Shame to LOVE
Join A Retreat!
We will work on the following:
EMOTION and SEXUALITY: Positively rewire your psychology with regard to intimacy, sexuality, eroticism
TRAUMA and SEX: Reconnect to and celebrate your pure sexual life energy that is and always was a source of creation.
THE WHEEL OF CONSENT: Open up to Receive love and presence, while respecting your boundaries.
HEALTHY COMMUNICATION TOOLS: Learn to Give love and presence, and discover the “Wheel of Consent” that will empower you to be fulfilled in your intimate life.
TRUTH & INNOCENCE: feel into your needs, fears and desires in your current (or potential) relationship and get empowered to express them.
THE ART OF CONSCIOUS TOUCH: Learn various ways to connect intimately beyond the known traditional ways of making love.
PLEASURE AS HEALING: Learn everything about male and female orgasms.
CELEBRATING EROS: Open the door to the practice of nourishing self-pleasure.
TANTRA MASSAGE: The art of how to experience the pleasure of Tantric touch.
“The most beautiful thing that can happen to a human being is to discover the sacred fire, the fire of his soul. And to make sure that the whole of life is the expression of this soul.”